have a cup: stay-at-home mothers and feminism.

Sit down, have a cup, and discuss. 


A story.

I had stopped to get myself something to eat before heading to work. I was significantly early compared to usual. I got to work, food in hand, and I headed to the break room to eat before my shift started. There was an employee in the break room. I sat down and started on my lunch.

Daniel called me while I was eating. He told me he was going to stop by and tell me goodbye because he was going out of town for a fraternity thing. He was right by work, so he came quickly. We said our goodbyes, kissed, and he left quickly.

The employee still in the break room began asking about Daniel and me...mainly wedding stuff, what we planned to do after college, etc, etc. I brought up our plans of me being a stay-at-home mother and homeschooling when he and I start to have children after Daniel gets out of graduate school.

"You're way to good to be a stay-at-home mom, Ashley. You're just too smart to waste energy like that."

A second story. They all tie together, I promise.

I wrote a paper on leadership in one of my college classes on how I planned on using the skills I learned in leadership studies as a stay-at-home mother and apply them to raising my children. You know, the typical leadership stuff...being ethical, having good listening skills, and analyzing decisions thoroughly before one makes them.

The response I got from the teacher was this, "Honey, why don't you have more ambition? You're getting a degree that you are going to waste."

How do you feel about feminism plays into the roles of stay-at-home mothers? Do you think that modern feminism makes women feel inferior if they aspire to a more "traditional" occupation?

I simply just want to be at home because I like the idea of being able to offer more interaction and emotional support to my children than I could give if I worked. I'm not really okay with being made to feel as though I'm selling myself short by staying at home with my children. Secondly, I want to embody the type of person I want my children to grow up be. Smart, educated, Christian, loving people. My computer science degree is a symbol of breaking a social barrier...a woman can be educated in a male dominated field AND be a stay-at-home mother.

 I, as woman, have the right stay at home. You, as a woman, should not tell me that I musn't choose to stay at home because it degrades my rights or potential.